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Die Harderer … er? (2025) script outline
Mar. 20th, 2025 04:40 amJohann aka “John Putz” McKlein goes to Moscow to investigate Vlad Duergarev’s gingerbread house series of heists from his neighbours Grisha, Micky and some Dude. When he gets there, he meets Vlad and “forgets” why he was there so he eats most of the gingerbread houses with Vlad during a bender.
John returns to DC and sets up a nationwide covert plan to steal all gingerbread houses without knowing exactly why. The plan is uncovered by the Smurfs when John’s wife Smurfette unwittingly divulges it to her lover JD Sconce.
When the plot is published by the Emes Em Worldnews, John easily dismisses as faky-achy-woky news, a code phrase for his supporters that the news might be true but it should be ignored as it is an integral part of the Dominion Aryan Mission Plan (which John forgot all about but he still somehow remembers to label icky news using the right codewords).
John is diagnosed with terminal diabetes after eating most of those gingerbread houses and keels over shortly after while putzing around on the lawn. Smurfette marries JD in Utah and they move to and live happily ever after in Vlad’s pool house in Sochi with their many noodle-poodles and pool noodles.
John returns to DC and sets up a nationwide covert plan to steal all gingerbread houses without knowing exactly why. The plan is uncovered by the Smurfs when John’s wife Smurfette unwittingly divulges it to her lover JD Sconce.
When the plot is published by the Emes Em Worldnews, John easily dismisses as faky-achy-woky news, a code phrase for his supporters that the news might be true but it should be ignored as it is an integral part of the Dominion Aryan Mission Plan (which John forgot all about but he still somehow remembers to label icky news using the right codewords).
John is diagnosed with terminal diabetes after eating most of those gingerbread houses and keels over shortly after while putzing around on the lawn. Smurfette marries JD in Utah and they move to and live happily ever after in Vlad’s pool house in Sochi with their many noodle-poodles and pool noodles.
